Lions vs. Polar Bears

When I was in the fourth grade, my working mom agreed to be a chaperone on our class trip to the zoo. This was a huge win for me because she never came to class trips because of her 9-5 job being peoples’ boss. I forget if I pressured her or if she felt self-induced guilt by not being included in my school life but it was crazy and exciting and I convinced her to bring me and my sister candy shopping at Shoppers the night before so I would have snacks on the bus. This wasn’t a school trip tradition but we made it seem as if we needed candy for the bus ride. Either it worked or my mom was just humouring us. Likely humouring us.

She told me she wouldn’t take the bus with the rest of the kids, teachers and other chaperones, but that she would drive there in her car and meet the class. I asked her how she would find us in the literal zoo area of the zoo and she said she would figure it out. This was very “my mom” of her. And it was very “me” of me to not question her because I’ve only known her to be an aggressively confident, competent person. She used to tell me she liked dressing up as a witch every year for Halloween because she liked what it felt like to not be beautiful for a day. She is my idol.

When our group got to the zoo, we moved in one solid pack and decided to visit the lions first because they were closer to the entrance. I didn’t want to stray too far from the lions fearing my mom would look there first. It felt like the obvious choice. The lions were entertaining, although all they were doing was sitting down and looking at us and each other. When I approached my teacher, she said my mom would catch up to wherever we were and she wouldn’t miss us. This felt a bit lofty to me so I proceeded to complain to all my friends about abandoning my mom at the lions. My friends told me not to worry, that she would show up, and we moved on.

Next, we visited the peacocks and the otters and at each stop, I felt my mom getting further away. I was told as a kid by most adults supervising me that in large public places, should you stray from your buddies, you’re meant to stay in one spot for them to find you. At this rate, we were asking for her to never find us. We walked towards the polar bears and I sulked the whole way there. I couldn’t even enjoy how brightly white their fur was or how lazily they swam through their small enclosure.

I was there for a solid minute when I felt my mom’s distinctly small hands over my eyes and because I was frustrated and distraught, I didn’t quite know how to respond when she said, “Guess who?” When I turned around, it felt as if we had been separated by time and space for years. I could have crumpled at her feet and cried I was so happy and relieved. She brought out more candy and gave some to me to share with my friends. When I asked her how she found us, she proclaimed: “I went to the lions first, because, of course, I assumed you’d be at the lions! The obvious choice. When you weren’t there, I got a little worried about being able to find your class but then I decided to just let my feet guide me and they brought me here to you and the polar bears. I could feel where you were in my bones.” I asked if it was that easy and she responded, “Yes, I always knew where you were. I just had to connect to you to find out. And the answer was right in front of me.”