Cold Gel

To distract myself from not saving a ton of money and from the meaninglessness of working, I have tried a random assortment of what I can only think of as extracurricular activities. They’re normally pretty expensive and just weird enough that they make me seem like a more interesting person when I talk about them at parties.

I’ve tried a doughnut-making class, baking bread at home, French classes and saying yes when my friends invite me to parties in the east end. Most recently, I have taken to this expensive ass cold gel laser facial. I first read about it on Lainey Gossip when she raved about how soothed her skin felt weeks after getting this facial. She mentioned celebrities who do it as an alternative for plastic surgery. Great, I’m in. The first time serves as a consultation when they ask about what you’re trying to get out of the whole process and why you’re willing to drop rent money on having your face prodded around with a laser with cold gel on the end of it.

Their office is in a loft which you access through a side door in an alley. It sounds sketchier than it is. It’s fancy when you get in there. Both the front desk person and the facialist had great skin. The office had many windows and natural light and their reception area was sparsely decorated.

When brought into the facial room, the lady asked me to sit on the table and go through a few questions. When I confirmed I wasn’t pregnant and didn’t have epilepsy, she moved onto more general questions about the state of my skin. We had a positive conversation focusing on ideals and my skin wish list as opposed to talking about problem areas that needed fixing. The whole procedure is about improving what’s there already. Though, she did talk about acne scarring and rosacea and how the cold gel helps with both.

At one point, I said that I thought I looked great and had good skin but I had no real way of knowing beyond the surface level and just looking at myself in the mirror regularly to corroborate. She immediately agreed and said that my skin was great. I was proud and admittedly relieved they were confident enough in their product to know they wouldn’t have to exaggerate problems in my face to sell me something. I’m looking at you, Clarisonic salesperson at Holts.

She put on a relaxing playlist and I leaned back on the table and tuned out what she was doing as she was explaining her process. At one point, I fell asleep because I felt so calm. She mentioned doing microdermabrasion on my skin to loosen the dirt and oil that accumulated from living in a big city and after this step, she put a hot towel on my face and started the cold gel laser part. From what I could tell, she has a wand dipped in this green cold gel (where it gets its name) that she moves in a circular motion all over your face. The gel smells herbal and feels cool to the touch. At the end of it, you have it all over your face and she wipes it off with another hot towel. The whole process takes about 45 minutes and you leave with a poreless, brightened face.

It’s $226 for your first time (all in, I inquired about how to add a tip and the lady shot me a look making it seem as though she thought my asking was gauche) and $200 for subsequent trips for maintenance. I plan on getting my sister her first for Christmas. This is why I’m broke. I, at least, look great.